Raising Strong Women, Not Just “Good Girls”

We need to talk about how we raise girls.

Too often, we raise them to be sweet before we raise them to be strong. We teach them to be polite before we show them how to speak up. We encourage gentleness, flexibility, and agreeableness, but we fail to cultivate ambition, curiosity, and challenge. We enroll them in ballet classes and tell them they are pretty and kind, but do we ask them what problems they want to solve? Do we ask them to lead, to critique, to build, to risk? Are you buying them #barbies with short skirts or with a toolbelt and a drill? 

When we raise girls as if their highest calling is to become someone’s partner, someone’s mother, or someone’s support system, we limit their potential before they even begin to discover it. These roles are beautiful when they are chosen, not assigned. They should never be the only horizon a young girl sees.

Being good at caretaking is not a substitute for being taught how to think critically or how to question what does not sit right. Being graceful in conflict is not the same as being courageous in the face of it.

The world does not need more "nice girls." It requires more women who know who they are and what they stand for. It needs women who challenge the rules when they are unjust. Women who ask better questions. Women who lead with clarity and heart, not permission.

This begins with how we raise them.

Let’s raise girls to be people. Whole people. Not perfect, not polite, not palatable. Let’s raise them to be complex. To have boundaries. To be brave. Let’s tell them they can be strategic and soft. Logical and loving. Competitive and collaborative.

They are allowed to want more. And we are allowed — in fact, we are obligated — to give them more.

So if you are raising a daughter, if you are an aunt, a sister, a coach, a teacher, or a friend, you are part of this. You are shaping the world she will believe she belongs in. You are planting seeds of identity, self-trust, and worth.

Let’s raise girls like they are the future because they are.

Let’s raise girls to be people.

And if you need a reminder of just how early the world starts shaping their story, watch this video clip by Eric Anthony. The body language, the subtle cues, the expectations — it’s all there. We must do better. And we can.